I'm still right here, giving blood, keeping faith.

My apologies to my readers for my silence. I am making art, which is always a good thing. It appears the slump has passed, or at least just faded away. There was no big bang, or major revelation that spurred my recent creativity, it just crept back in, silently, as it's done many times in the past. I'm grateful, but wish I had more insight to the workings of my own artistic mind. I'd love a guidebook on how to not fall into a rut again, but I know at some point, I'll feel less than inspired, and the cycle will repeat. For now, though, I am creating.

Lately, my mind is all over the place. Many days, my mind, as well as my heart, is in a secluded spot by Rush Creek, off of Highway 395 in the Eastern Sierra Nevada mountains of California. It's a familiar place that I've been many times. Nearby, several aspen trees bear the carvings my brothers and I made on past visits. Behind me is a flat-topped hill with 360 degree views of the surrounding mountains. It's so quiet there you can hear the earth breathing.

Other days, I find myself thinking of the high desert of the American southwest. Red rock country. Another home for my heart.

The traveler in me is restless, and has been for a very long time. I yearn for the ocean, canyons, sagebrush, mountains the scope of which Virginia can't touch, endless night skies where the stars burn brighter than you could ever imagine and roads that lead to new, magnificent discoveries that take your breath away. Forever the dreamer, that's me.

I seek to pour this longing into my artwork. Not sure if I'm succeeding yet, but that's never stopped me before.

Mixed media tentacle triptych made for a swap with an online friend and fellow artist.

The state I'm in.

So, I'm currently working stumbling my way through a bit of a slump. Actually, this "slump" has been off and on for a few months now. I know how to change it, and sometimes I manage to climb over the wall, but I can't seem to tear down the wall, and that's what I really want to do.

Mt. Pilchuck, Washington. Sunset. 

Somewhere, amidst the slump, I found myself realizing I was making it even worse by trying to force what cannot be forced. Oh, sure, I can mold any idea into something pliable, but this feels more like barely scratching the surface. I know there's so much more below, but I struggle to reach it.

Beach at Deception Pass.

My brother, who is younger than me but full of wisdom, said to ride it through, let the slump hang around for a bit, let it run its course. Just the idea of that sparked a small something today, and I managed to eek out a couple small works. I also had success the other day when my dear friend Barb advised going into the studio just to play, with no set plan to "make something". And I also know that the best way to cultivate new ideas is just by working, doing something, anything, to get the juices flowing.

Isn't it just lovely to know these things, yet still find yourself staring down the wall? *sigh* Yup.

Another friend mentioned perhaps I was a bit depressed after the big build up to, and then returning from, my trip to Washington. She may be onto something.

The Cascades.

Regardless, here I am. I have the tools to break through, I know how, and I know I'm only making things worse by focusing on it. Yet...here I am. At the same time, I can feel that once I break through this, something amazing awaits on the other side. I'm on the cusp of...something, and that's exciting.

Mt. Pilchuck.

And my trip to Washington? It was amazing, just what I needed. Meeting Barb for the first time "in real life" was...awesome. It just solidified what I already knew to be true, that Barb and I are a lot alike, and that I cherish her presence in my life. Barb doesn't demand anything of you, she allows you to be you, and at the same time she challenges you, in a good way. We laughed, a lot. We watched movies, and laughed some more. We made art. Mostly, we spent time just enjoying being together. We also took a jaunt over the Cascades to meet up with some other online friends, which was a most unforgettable experience. What happens when you get 4 intelligent, creative, funny and unabashed friends together, who have never met in person before, in a random Denny's in the middle of the afternoon? Laughter and many smiles ensue. You might also get a few stares, and your table may be referred to by an employee as "where the party is!" I pretty much just stayed laughing the entire time.

Snoqualmie Falls.

Anyway, I'll keep going the direction I am, working a bit here and there, trying not to worry too much and just letting it flow. And I'll try my best to not beat myself up about it, which is, of course, much easier said than done.

Art journal inspiration.

I don't yet have a new post ready for my art journaling series, but I'm (slowly) working on that. I thought today I'd share some inspiration for all you art journalers out there. Yesterday I ran across (thanks to the new addiction that is Pinterest) this, a tumblr page dedicated to art journals, collected by Barb. It's a wonderful source to get the creative juices flowing, and to see how others use their journals.

Now, let's talk about what you'd like to see in future art journal posts. In the last several months, I've been regularly checking my stats here (something I rarely, if ever, did before). I've had this blog since 2007, and by and large, the number one post people are reading is my Fearless Art Journaling post on backgrounds. I'm not too surprised, as that post goes in line with a lot of the art journal questions I am asked. I myself find the backgrounds the easiest part - it's the focal point that sometimes does me in. I have some ideas for the series, but I'd like to know if there's anything my readers would like to see. Any questions about art journals you'd like answered? Any techniques you'd like me to cover? Feel free to add your ideas, comments and questions in the comments.

Hope you all have an artful day!

Buried Treasure 2011

It's time, once again, for Seth Apter's Buried Treasure. To take part, all you need do is repost one or more of your favorite blog entries going back to the beginning of your blog. I believe this is my 3rd time joining in, if memory serves. This time, I'm not going back very far. This post was part of the A-Z Blogging Challenge 2011 that I took part in. Thanks for stopping by!

The following was orginally posted on April 26, 2011. I didn't have to go back very far this time to find a favorite.

Veil (n.) A cover; disguise; a mask; a pretense.

There are many things in this world hidden behind a veil. For a multitude of reasons, often fear, people hide parts of themselves from others. We fear someone may not like what they see and may ridicule or alienate us, and most everyone yearns to feel they belong somewhere. Our own government hides behind pretenses, to keep us uninformed and controllable. That's not conspiracy theory; you're kidding yourself if you think they tell us everything.

i can understand sometimes feeling the need to keep a part of yourself tucked away, safe from mocking and misunderstanding, but more and more i seek to let out those "secrets". i'm finding the release necessary to feel that i'm really presenting myself as who i am, and also necessary towards making strides to becoming the me i am and am meant to be. Often, when we share a hidden part of ourselves, someone else feels the courage to respond with "Me, too!", and instead of feeling alone, you both find common ground and let out a little sigh, thinking, i'm so glad i'm not the only one. By remaining behind the mask, we isolate ourselves. If we are free and open and honest, we make connections.

But let's say you pull aside the veil and someone doesn't like what they see? All you can do is be honest and true to yourself, and if someone has a problem with that, better to find out sooner rather than later.

If more of us let down our guard and shared those things we most fear sharing, i think we'd find we're a lot more alike than we think. We may find common ground with our worst enemies, and maybe, just maybe, a lot more people would feel less like weirdos or freaks or outsiders. A small connection can go a long way towards understanding and compassion, and the world can always use more of both.

Frida, and finding my voice.

Last week, while visiting my dear friend Barb in Washington state (more about my visit in a future post), we watched the movie Frida.  I'd seen it before, but it had been awhile, and this time it struck a chord with me that it hadn't during the first viewing. I had an epiphany of sorts concerning an artist's life and how it affects their work.

Ever since the first time I laid eyes on Frida Kahlo's work, I've been a fan. One of the many things I find very appealing about her paintings is their personal aspect. It struck me during the movie, while ruminating about her life and the obstacles she had to overcome, this is something I should strive for more in my own work. Often, when I don't like a piece, I find it's because it feels contrived and lacks my true voice. Frida's paintings are her paintings; no one else could have painted them, ever. They are true to her, and she allowed so much to be spilled onto the canvas. There are times when I am forcing the work, and struggling. I'd do much better to allow the art to come through. I tend to forget this, and then a wall goes up.

I'm very interested in Frida herself, aside from the artist. She intrigues me. This leads me back to her artwork as my interest in her makes me want to hear what she has to say. Some of the most valuable messages are related through art, maybe especially of the variety without words. Often, the most important things can't be contained with words.

Frida shared herself through her art. We are so lucky to get a glimpse into this other world, a world of deep emotions, secret desires (or not so secret), dreamscapes...nightmares. The meat of it.

Everything I create will have my voice attached in some way, even when I'm "forcing" it; it can't be helped. Because I am the creator, part of me comes through. But I crave more. I often end a day in the studio feeling like I didn't create the art I really wanted to, the art I see in my mind and feel in my heart. Sometimes I tap into it easily, and it just flows, and reaches a point where it feels like the art is making itself. Other times, not so much.

I will not be satisfied until I feel I really allow my voice to speak more often than not. I want to create my art. I want my work to have a personal connection to me, even if veiled and only seen through my eyes. I'm getting closer to this, I can feel it.

Still...the wall has been up. I returned from Washington reinvigorated, refreshed and inspired, yet when I sit down to work, nada. I've turned out a couple small things, stumbling all the way, but it feels like there's something hidden, just beyond, and I can't quite make it out...

This life is a learning process, and so can be creativity. In both, it's important to let go of control (or the illusion of) sometimes and just go along for the ride. Letting go of fear is key if you want to really live, and if you want to realize the potential of the person and artist inside you. (I think I should heed my own advice.)

Coming to you from the left coast.

I just wanted to do a quick post to say that you can find one of my answers on today's Style File, part of Seth Apter's The Pulse series. Be sure to check out the other artists included today; there is much inspiration to be found!

Also, I'm currently in Washington state visiting my dear friend Barb, and having a wonderful time. I'm thrilled to finally be "live and in person" with her, someone I've known online for 6 years or more. I'm also happy to have a much needed getaway and a shift in perspective. I wish I could take these cooler temperatures home with me...

New edition of Seth Apter's The Pulse!

I wanted to do a quick post to let you all know about Seth Apter's latest incarnation of The Pulse. This time around over 125 artists contributed to this "online survey in words and pictures" (quoting Seth), and I'm thrilled to be a part of this 5th edition! It begins this coming weekend, with posts on Saturday 7/2, Sunday 7/3 and Monday 7/4. Following this big kick off, The Pulse will be posted every Sunday following.

Seth describes the series this way: The Pulse is a collaborative project that has been part of The Altered Page since January 2008. Its purpose is to "tap into the pulse" of the mixed-media arts community and share with you the "state of the art." This project will introduce you to new artists, help you get to know familiar faces even more, and provide a window into the creative hearts and minds of the talented pool of artists working today.

I have enjoyed the inspiration and insight provided by this series in the past, and being able to participate this time around is the icing on the cake. I invite you to visit Seth's blog and join in on the fun!