Wednesday, April 6, 2011

E is for ebullient, yay!

This month i am taking part in theA-Z Blogging Challenge.


1. overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited.
2. bubbling up like a boiling liquid.

My friend Barb mentioned this word as a good jumping off point for today's post, and i concur!

So, ebullient. i can definitely relate. There's no denying when something excites me. i let loose with smiles, laughter, and a voice that other moms might refer to as my "outside voice". (Which begs the question, do i even have an inside voice?) And no, i don't have an off switch. In fact, i strongly and deeply feel and show the gamut of emotions, which actually makes my battle with depression sort of make sense.

One thing that always gets my hackles up is when i am in the midst of this joyous overload, and someone says to me, "Calm down." It's almost always said with a slight hint of disgust, as if my display makes them cringe.  

First of all, this is me. i only know how to be me. Take me or leave me, i am who i am. Yes, i can be a better me, and i try very hard to do that, but what part of my off the scale excitement hurts another human being? Maybe it irritates you, and that's fine - we can't all like each other - but i have to wonder what makes you pull away a bit? Obviously, you're uncomfortable with this outburst, but why? Is it because you reign yourself in, wanting to go with the flow and not upset the fruit basket? And i suppose you want me to do the same, huh? Um, no.

Secondly ("Do you always number what you say?" What movie is that from? i think i know; tell me if you do.), i believe in living life to the fullest. What's the point otherwise? For me, part of really living is letting myself feel all these emotions, savoring the moments, be they small or enormous. There can be moments of ebullience in every single day. Relish them, because at any time, there can also be moments of hell. This is life. Try not to turn away at the scary parts. Always laugh loudly until it hurts at the funny parts. And bring tissues, too, because you will cry.

Don't be afraid of your emotions, or of showing them. i think you'll find most people, save maybe the "calm-downers", and they are downers, will in turn feel more comfortable showing theirs, and this is just another connection we can make, which is always a very good thing.

The above photos were taken in my yard in early March. My landlord planted crocuses, daffodils, tulips, day lilies, hyacinths and more back when she resided here. In July, when we moved here, these flowers had fallen back and were gone, so we were surprised to be greeted to literally hundreds of perennials popping up all over this spring. And yes, this situation provided fodder for much ebullience.

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